Fearful
by wow-isnt-that-awesome
Summary: This follows the relationship of Jude and Connor. It will mainly focus on them: their struggles, their successes, their future, their fears, their love. This will show their relationship through the years: the present, high school, college, and beyond!


**Note: This entire story will take place following the events of Episode 1, Season 3. If further episodes contradict what I've written, which inevitably will happen, I won't change anything, so just enjoy the alternate universe that will likely occur.**

 **This is one of my favorite television shows, so I decided I would try writing something for it. I hope you enjoy it!**

 **Chapter 1**

It was an early Saturday morning, and the sunshine began to finally creep through the navy blue curtains that were hanging from the window in Jude's room. The light crept upon Jude's face. He opened his eyes, let out a big yawn, and rubbed his eyes. He slowly began to close his eyes again until he heard his phone vibrate.

He let out a groan and leaned up, and put his arms over his head, stretching them. Jude was actually really tired from spending a majority of yesterday at the school party and the beach. He looked over at his nightstand, grabbed his phone. It was Connor.

 _ **Connor: Good Morning!**_

Jude rolled his eyes and began to slightly smirk. Ever since they became an item, Connor has _always_ texted him good morning. Jude would never admit it, but he really did like that—knowing that Connor thinks of him when he first wakes up.

 _ **Jude: Good morning to you too!**_

 _ **Connor: Still okay for me to come hang out today?**_

 _ **Jude: Yup! See u at noon**_

 _ **Connor: can't wait!**_

Jude smiled and then set his phone back down on his nightstand. He decided that it was probably time to get out of bed. He let out one more yawn and then slid his legs to the side of the bed and finally stood up. He rearranged his plaid pajama pants as they are always kind of messed up when we wakes up from how much he tosses and turns in his sleep.

He walked to the bathroom, desperately needing to brush his teeth and take a shower. He looked in the mirror and let out a laugh after looking at his hair that was all over the place. "Stupid bed head," he giggled. He grabbed his toothbrush and began to brush his teeth. As he was brushing his teeth, he walked over to the shower and turned the knob. He walked back to the sink, spat and rinsed.

After periodically sticking his hand in the shower to test the temperature of the water, he removed his clothes and climbed in. He let out a sigh of relief as the warm water touched his skin. This was one of Jude's favorite times of the entire day. His showers were always so relaxing, and it always gave him time to think.

His mind began wandering and he began thinking about what happened yesterday—when Taylor had evidently outed Connor and him. He had actually begun thinking about all of yesterday, particularly when he ran off.

Jude began to wash his hair as he continued to think about Connor. It was weird, he thought. Yesterday was the first time ever that Connor seemed insecure. Jude couldn't even wrap his mind around that—he tried so hard to get with Connor, and he just always assumed that it just going to be him that thought his boyfriend was too good for him, not also vice versa.

He began smiling though, noting how comforting is that Connor clearly wants to be with him. Jude leaned down, turned off the shower and began drying off. He walked back to his room, put on some shorts, and a t-shirt. He also threw on a hoodie, thinking that it was a little chilly in the house, even for it being summer. He and Connor were going to spend the entire day inside anyway.

He walked downstairs to find his moms trying to clean up a mess in the kitchen. Apparently the plumber didn't do very well fixing the ceiling the last time he was there because part of the ceiling collapsed and released a hefty amount of water into the kitchen. Jude looked at them, and just let out a soft giggle.

"Jude, honey, I would say just make yourself some cereal for breakfast while we continue picking this mess up," Lena said. Jude walked over to the shelves and grabbed a bowl out of the cabinet, "That's fine! Just wanted to remind you guys that you said Connor could come over today. That's still okay, right?"

Stef took a break from mopping and looked at him, "Yeah, that still works. How does pizza for lunch sound?" Jude smiled, "That sounds great!"

He finished up his cereal and then walked back upstairs. He wanted to start going through the movies that he and Connor were going to watch when he got there. Connor was still pretty limiting them to the things they could do because of his foot, so Connor had suggested that they have a movie day.

As he was walking into his room, he noticed that Mariana still wasn't even up yet. He thought that was a little odd, because she actually is quite the morning person. Being the good brother that he is, he decided that he should check up on her. He knocked on the door, and then walked into her room.

"Something wrong, Mariana?" There was no answer. Now he knew something was up. Mariana is always up for talking with Jude. They actually had quite a good relationship and had become quite close in the time that Jude had been in the house.

"Come on, what's up?" Jude began to start being a little concerned, so he sat down on the side of her and asked her again. She just let out a soft groan.

"Okay. Well, if you need anything I'll be here all day." Jude realized that pushing the subject wasn't really going to do anything. He knew they would likely talk about whatever it was that was bothering her at some point—they pretty much talked about everything.

He walked back into his room and began sorting through the movies. Jude really appreciated all the extra space in his room that he had now. He kind of did not mind at all that Jesus went off to boarding school, because that meant he got his own room! It was a little quiet sometimes, but Jude likes quiet. He chose a few movies and then sat down on his bed and started playing a game on his tablet.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

There was a knock at the door. Lena took a break from cleaning the kitchen to go answer the door, "Oh, hey Connor. How's your day been?"

Connor smiled, "Pretty boring, but hopefully it'll be a little better now that I'm here!"

Lena smiled and walked to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up them, "Jude, Connor's here!" Not even a moment later, one could here Jude's footsteps coming downstairs. He looked at Connor and grinned, "I bring you our afternoon," showing him the stack of movies that he had chosen.

"Let's do this!" Connor smiled and began walking over to the couch. He really hated being on crutches. He was sure they could do something more fun that watching movies all day. At least he was spending the day with Jude though, and that's really all he cared about.

Connor dropped down on the couch and watched Jude as he put the first movie in. He then got up and went and sat next to Connor on the couch.

Jude looked at him and smiled, "How's your day been?"

"I've basically just been waiting to come over here all day. You know my house isn't really the most fun place ever," he sighed, "Plus, Dad is still a little awkward about this entire thing."

Jude frowned and started playing with his hands. "It'll all be okay eventually. You know that." They were silent for a moment and then the movie came on. Jude looked over at Connor and nudged him, "Now shut up, the movie is coming on!"

Connor laughed and nudged him back, but a little harder. Jude gave him a mean look, which Connor returned. Jude couldn't help but laugh, and then he finally reached down and grabbed Connor's hand.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It was beginning to get late, both were getting a little sleepy and they were full of pizza. One of the movies they were watching was coming to an end, and Connor looked to Jude.

"One more?" He pouted, "Please?"

Jude couldn't help but smirk and he just nodded. He got up, and started to walk over to the television, but ended up tripping on Connor's injured foot. He fell to the floor. Connor's eyes opened wide and instantly reacted by yelling, "Ouch!"

Jude, worried that he just hurt Connor's foot more, instinctively got up quickly and asked him if he was okay. "Yeah, it's okay. I can't wait for this thing to get better though. This is annoying, I feel helpless."

Jude slightly frowned and went over to put another movie in. He returned to the couch quickly and laced his fingers back into his boyfriend's hand. Jude looked at Connor, his eyes embedded in the movie. He gulped, and then he did something that he had never actually done before: he leaned over and placed his head on Connor's shoulder.

Connor's heart began to race. Connor wished he could do stuff like this with Jude more often. He really didn't love the idea that Jude didn't want to go public with their relationship because that meant he couldn't hold his hand in public. He understood though. He respected Jude, he understood he didn't want to be labeled as gay.

For now, this was okay. Even though Connor was slightly embarrassed, because he was certain Jude could feel how fast his heart was going, he just smiled softly, and leaned his head down onto Jude's. His hair smelled really nice, he thought, which only made him smile more. He couldn't even focus on the movie anymore, though. How could he? He and his boyfriend were actually _cuddling_ for the first time.

The movie eventually ended, both too lazy to get up and turn the tv off, or perhaps because they were still cuddling. It was silent for several minutes before Jude spoke up, "Hey."

Connor's eyes remained closed and his hand still locked with Jude's, "Hm?"

"What's your favorite food?" Jude was really curious, for some reason. "Hmm, I really love pasta. Any and all kind!"

Jude smiled, "We'll have to eat that sometime." Just that idea really excited Connor. Because Jude didn't want to be public with their relationship, they hadn't actually been on an actual date yet. "Yeah, we should," Connor replied softly.

Jude then asked another question, "What's your favorite color?"

Connor laughed and lifted his head to look at Jude, "You don't know? What kind of boyfriend are you?!"

Jude grinned, "Okay, do you know mine?!"

"C'mon, Jude, of course I do," Connor smiled and grabbed Jude's hand, "It's blue."

Jude rolled his eyes and let go of his hand. "So what is your favorite color?" Connor looked at him, smiled, and then replied, "Blue."

Jude smiled and grabbed Connor's hand again. He smirked and looked into Connor's eyes. "I like you, ya know."

Connor made a big smile, "Yeah, I know." Jude shrugged and then proceeded to lean back onto Connor's shoulder. Connor sighed and then kind of realized that there was still a lot about Jude that he wanted to learn about. Sure, they had been best friends for quite a while. Sure, they had been boyfriends for a few weeks, but there was still so much more he wanted to know.

He then blurted out, "What's your biggest fear?"

Jude's face went from smiling to a confused look, not that Connor could tell from the angle they were sitting in. "Uh… Hm. I don't know, I mean.. I mean I don't really deathly fear anything," Jude uncomfortably stated, "I mean, I've been through a lot, and I'm sure that's made me a stronger individual, but yeah.."

Connor adjusted the way they were sitting so they were face to face. He peaked his right eyebrow, "Nothing?"

"Not that I can think of. What about you?"

Connor stared down to his lap and his hands and started contemplating. He then spoke softly, "My Dad used to really scare me, but that's getting a little better. It wasn't necessarily him himself, but… the disappointment I thought I was going to cause him." He smiled a little bit, "I just had to learn to face my fear, I guess."

Jude pouted and then leaned back into Connor's shoulder. It was very evident to Connor that Jude wasn't being completely honest with him, but he wasn't going to push it. If Jude didn't want to talk about it, he was going to respect that.

Connor smiled and laid his head back onto Jude's. They eventually fell asleep like that, leaning against one another and with their hands intertwined.

 **Note: I haven't written anything since I was like thirteen years old, but I really wanted to give it a go again. I really, really appreciate criticism. Tell what's bad, or tell me what's good, and I'll go from there.**

 **I have ideas on where I want this fic to go, but I'm only going to do it if people actually like my writing, otherwise what's the point!?**


End file.
